Writing Small Books, Perfectionism, and Realizing Your Dreams

How to start making your ideas real

Perfectionism is the killer of dreams. It seems a paradoxical statement, since dreams are idealized versions of reality, but in reality nothing can be “perfect.” Reality is rather the testing grounds for many of our dreams and ideas. Like many creatives, ideas come to me in waves, and if I do not have a way to prioritize and work on my many projects, I would drown in my own “pile of shame.” This is a reference to the shame many hobbyists have in the corner of their room of the many projects that yet to be completed. When I was a child, this would happen, and I would have toy models and the like left uncompleted because I would want it to make it the most perfect version that I imagined in my mind. This would be somewhat the same as an adult, but lead to many frustrations and pages of unfinished writing and other projects. I think that was why I loved being in school because deadlines forced me to finish papers and when a class came to completion, that was the end. So after two master’s degrees and a doctorate, I’ve had hardly any options, but work and painting, but my writing, besides this newsletter, has been a new pile of shame. I worked on a very ambitious project which was turned down by a press. Knowing that it was too massive to grapple with, I did it anyway. However, not all was lost because I realized so much from working on it.

This is not my “pile of shame,” but I have three plastic bins like this that I uncovered and it was quite a revelation.

However, I’ve learned the value of short books, those less than 15,000 words to do and complete. I’ve finished my Jesus and Buddha book and another called Big Ideas, Small Steps, about how to realize one’s dreams through a plan of action. Both books have been a relief from the burden of completing my writing work. Although they still need to be edited through, they are complete for now and I feel great about them. Several weeks ago, I saw a model kit from the movie, Dune, that as a kid, I would have loved to work on. However, I knew that if I had it, then it would go into another box, uncompleted. But I ordered it to prove myself wrong. Within a couple of weeks, I finished it, and it’s on my bookshelf. It was quite fun and easy. However, I had to learn to let many things go in order to see it completed. It could not be the perfect model, but it had to get close and done.

In graduate school, one of my favorite philosophy professors, Christopher Martin, would say to us, “The great is often the enemy of the good.” This was because so many graduate students turned in their after the due date. However, I only turned in one late because the professor insisted on giving everyone an extension, which I hated. But out of school, I would often revert back to my perfectionist ways, just because there were no deadlines. I’ve often thought about going back to school again, but my wife would probably leave me. So, how do I continue to have a sense of completion without loss of my most valued relationship?

In Big Ideas, Small Steps, I elaborate on the importance of self-imposed goals, milestones, and accountability to complete them. We need these small goals, or else some projects will just go on forever, and we will get overwhelmed. Additionally, the pile of shame will spiral into a cycle of unrealized dreams that would crush us. It is a vicious pattern that can lead to continued shame, guilt, anxiety, and depression. But there is a way out, and I’m happy to testify to this.

If you don’t make the steps smaller and more manageable, you will not reach your dreams.

In Greek, the word, perfect, means complete, whole, a fulfilled end. It does not have the connotation of “perfectionism” we commonly think of in the West. This is the idea of some kind of ideal, the dream state of what we want. There is nothing wrong with the dream, but the paradox is that in order to fulfill the dream, we must grapple with how to accomplish it in the real world. In other words, the only way to realize our big ideas is to have a series of smaller goals to fulfill. We complete on task then we go on to the other. We revise and re-iterate, and we go along and not as a way to start over again. The temptation for many people is to say to themselves, “If I can’t do it this way, I won’t do it at all.” Even though I know the sentiment in trying to do something correctly, we won’t know how to do it correctly into we get into it and make adjustments along the way. There is something in our minds that wants to be a naysayer to begin and yet to begin is the best way to counter this demon.

There is a book in the entrepreneurial world called From Good to Great by Jim Collins, and he would argue against me by saying, “Good is the enemy of great.” However, this is about taking an existing business and getting it to the next level, rather than making lateral moves to consistently keeping the business good. However, for many people the starting point is not good, but it is getting to "good." It is achieving the goal of writing a book (or another book), creating a product, or making whatever that realizes their dream.

Recently, I’ve been meeting with a CEO of a construction company in Houston to talk about making their existing business to “great” status and realizing the dream of becoming a national home builder of disaster proof houses. However, in order to get there he also must have realistic, and achievable goals and accountability. Without these steps, one will never finish anything, never satisfy the urge to fulfill what comes to them in their dreams, both sleeping and waking. Let me close by saying this, there are many ways to achieve our dreams, and many successes we can celebrate. However, the only way is to start and give ourselves direction and purpose towards it. I believe in you and your abilities to do what you want in this world. Dreams don’t come to us unless the divine sees that we can be responsible for those dreams and making it reality. However, if we continue to deny them, be distracted, or self-sabotage them, those ideas will leave us and perhaps find another container to make it reality. I have total faith that it can happen, and if I can be of any assistance, please let me know. Peace.