Doing 'The Thing,' Resistance, and Advent

How to get yourself motivated

A recent podcast got me onto an essay, “Things That Aren't Doing the Thing.”

Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.

Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing.

Fantasizing about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing.

Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading this essay isn't doing the thing.

The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.

What I can add is: “Hating on other people who are not doing the thing isn’t doing the thing.” Recently, Paula’s parents came down for Thanksgiving and my father-in-law, who is 67 years of age, would repeat the same line about wanting to open some kind of coffee shop or restaurant. In the 80s, he owned a cafe that sold breakfast and coffee and soy drinks when he was in Vietnam, and perhaps wants to recapture that time. However, he is unwilling to learn any more English than he already knows or even learn how to make coffee drinks. Then he got talking about making money to live on after he retires at the age of 71, “I want to make $2000 a week off of investments.” I got tired him saying this and exclaimed, “If you want to do it, just learn how to do it!”

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Mind you that for the past year I’ve been helping people realize their dreams of publishing a book or having a thriving photography business or making their innovations known to the public. I’ve helped people bring big ideas to fruition, but with my father-in-law, I can’t seem to coach him through it. He’s a smart man, hardworking, and good with numbers. There is no reason he can’t realize his dreams; however, he receives much resistance from his wife, who gives him all the excuses that he is willing to receive. “Having a business here is not like having one in Vietnam.” “It’s too late for him to learn anything.” “He’s done it before and failed.”

What I’ve discovered is that resistance not a barrier, but the test of our resolve. If we sense that there is something in our way, the likelihood is that it is there because we can succeed at what we want to do. If we use resistance correctly, it can be like a rubber band that propels us forward, but if we let it hinder us, it can tie us up.

How can we be motivated to “do the thing”?

Having a clear vision about the thing in which we want to do is the first step in doing the thing. Will power alone won’t help us. We are weak without the ability to envision where we will be and how we will change when we take steps to accomplish our goals. Without the power of imagination, we will not do what it takes to take an ice plunge, to go to the gym in the morning, to write that book, to paint that painting.

Imagination makes the goal crystal clear, and this clarity will lead us toward the correct path. To imagine an outcome is not simply to fantasize about it. It is to say that we will be on the other side of it. The Hebrew prophets imagined a world of God’s restorative justice and reign. Jesus imagined a kinship of people who did the work of healing the wounds of the world. For them, it was not an indulgent fantasy, but a step toward reality. If one is honest with oneself, one’s vision should be both scary and trilling. At a recent executive coaching meeting, I asked if the vision they had for their company both made their hearts beat quickly and was exciting? Anything else is just a lateral move. However, most people are perfectly fine with that kind of growth. They want to do a little better than last year, but do not want to do what it takes to make a big leap into the unknown.

Photo by Arian Malek khosravi on Unsplash

Advent and Resistance

We are in the season of Advent, and I can’t help but think of birth as the push and pull of resistance. Something in us wishes to be born anew, but it’s painful. The world of the womb is safe and secure. The world outside is cold and frightening. It is a violent slap to reality. But there is life and breath on the other side.

The Gospel of Matthew tells the story of Jesus’ family’s seeking asylum in Egypt from dangers. They were strangers in a strange land, and this repeated Abraham’s own vision of and call to journey into a place that he would be a foreigner.

There has always been a call to greater and bigger things, but there are always lesser goals that distract us from that call. For me, it’s difficult to imagine doing the same things over and over, until I retire and then spending my days not realizing what could have been. Perhaps this was me projecting onto my father-in-law, perhaps I was just telling him to just do what he wants to do instead of occupying himself with distractions. There are plenty of books, podcasts, and even YouTube channels that will teach him what he needs to know to do what he wants to do. Calling me up to see if he could save .5 percent on his car loan is not going to get him where he wants to be.

Until we dig deeply into our soul for what we really want and bring it forth as a vision for our future, we will continue in regret and unfilled longing. Again, most people are perfectly fine not doing this, but for me, I can’t.

Dig deep.

Write down your vision.

Share it to keep yourself accountable.

Do the thing.